


Summertime love on the Tallis property

by StilesHale91



Series: The Memoirs of Lola Quincey [1]
Category: Atonement (2007)
Genre: 20th Century, Childhood, Cousins, Divorce, F/M, First Kiss, Kissing, Memories, Pedophilia, Sexual Content, Summer, Twins, Underage Kissing, Underage Sex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-07-21
Updated: 2014-06-24
Packaged: 2017-12-20 21:57:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 9
Words: 21,047
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/892350
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StilesHale91/pseuds/StilesHale91
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU, the whole story from Lola Quincey's point of view. Her life story since her childhood till her last days.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Prologue

My husband died…no I won’t start it like that. A publisher’s visit made me realize that I should write my own story before it’ll be too late. This publisher didn’t come to see me because of my book, the truth is, back then I had no idea that I’ll write a novel of my life, especially about that summer, which influenced not just my life, but all the others who were staying there, around me. Colin Wilson, the publisher, he’s a friend of Pierrot. I haven’t seen my brothers since ages, he and Jackson were at my wedding, but after I moved in to my husband’s house, the relationship with them broke. It was like, they began to understand what was really going on and maybe they felt grudge about it, who knows, I won’t find it out. I’m living my last days, it doesn’t matter anymore. Mr Wilson took a visit at my house, a month after my husband’s death. I thought and still think it was rude from him, but wasn’t exactly his fault as Briony sent him, and I don’t think that Briony cared a lot about my feelings. I was sure about it after reading her book. She needed my approval to publish it, I felt like she was just waiting for the announcement in the newspaper that ‘The ninety one years old chocolate millionaire passed away’. Briony never had any idea, not even a close hint about what was going on during that summer, neither after it. I’d definitely react hysterically to her book if she’d have sent Mr Wilson sooner, years before, but I was an old and weak widow, so I signed the contract after reading Briony’s book. With every single sentence of that book I just became more certain that I have to write down everything, how it really happened. People couldn’t build upon Briony’s conjectures. It won’t cause me any difficulties to remember back to 1935’s summer, I still can hear the twins’ whining as the old car was jolting all along the dusty road. I can recall the feeling when I first glanced at the Tallis property’s archaic, bit ruined mansion, the feeling how the hot air almost burnt my cheek, my anger mixed with sadness and pain. I was only fifteen, but I was an expert of showing a fake mask to everyone else around me, no one knew my reasons, the way I felt or what I did, but I’ll reveal what was really behind that mask.

Surrey’s picturesque valleys couldn’t even compare to the Quincey children’s previous home, but despite the beautiful scenery, the little girl was more than upset in the old car’s backseat. She didn’t care about the beauties of the Tallis property, why would she, when she had more important things on her mind, than the stupid landscape. She was not stupid, she’s seen the first signs of the divorce, and then her mother left to Paris, to her lover. They haven't divorced yet officially on paper, but it was more than obvious that they won’t be together again. Her father, Cecil, never was a strong man, and as he lost Hermione, he completely broke down, maybe if it’d be just Lola, her father wouldn’t send her away, as she was always such a strong and mature girl. But because of the twins, they were sent away to their mother’s sister. When Hermione left, Lola lived it like a catastrophe, she always looked up to her mother, she was her idol, the perfect woman, but she was tough enough not to show her real feeling about it, especially not front of the twins. So they were eventually on their way to Aunt Emily. Lola wasn’t fond of the idea as she clearly remembered her annoying cousin. She was now older though, if Lola counted well, she stepped into her thirteenth year, two years younger than herself. The road was horrible because of the unbearable hot weather, and the top of everything the twins were bothering their sister nonstop. She was grateful when they finally arrived, she couldn’t stand it any longer with her twins in that crappy car. She glanced at the teenage guy who paid the driver and took their luggage. His expression was so dumb and idiotic, anytime Lola saw him in the following days she just couldn’t stand not to smile, but paid attention to hold back her laughter, after all she didn’t want to be rude with the servant boy. She hoped that at least the mansion’s walls would provide cooler air inside, but it wasn’t so, moreover it was stuffy. Lola glanced at a poster in the middle of the hallway, she stepped a bit closer to read it, but she was interrupted as Aunt Emily rushed over to them and theatrically hugged the twins to herself. Lola saw through her though and later on she was certain about that they meant nothing but a burden to her. But Lola played the polite, strong sister’s role and she leaned up for a light kiss on the cheek of her auntie. While Emily was reassuring the twins that they’ll have a good time here, Lola heard the coming footsteps’ noise from the staircase.  
“Oh for heaven’s sake Cecilia, I’ve told you not to smoke inside the house, and as a matter of fact rather nowhere. It’s so derogatory.”  
Cecilia ignored the comment and greeted the Quincey children. Lola remembered her, she had to admit herself that Cecilia was a pretty and well-dressed woman as a matter of fact she was a bit jealous of her because of that, not as if she wouldn’t have found herself attractive enough. She mostly felt envy because of her beautiful clothes with big cleavage, that she could varnish her nails or wear make-up without anyone’s permission, she wanted her freedom, because her fifteen years have built up such high walls around her, that she sometimes nearly got chocked of them. Lola mostly felt like an adult, mature woman stuck in a little girl’s body. When they were already in their room Lola wanted to rest a little as the road and her problems made her exhausted, but she couldn’t. She damned Briony for not letting her take a nap. Lola frowned when Briony immediately began to talk about her brand new written drama, she clearly had no idea about good manner. Lola would expect her cousin to firstly ask about their journey, but instead of it she stormed into their room and began to hold a long speech about the ‘Trials of Arabella’ and that they have to start the rehearsals immediately because she wanted to perform it as a surprise gift for her brother, Leon. Lola couldn’t believe her ears, they had to leave their home, their mum ran away and instead of getting compassion, this stubborn annoying blond girl forced them into a rehearsal without asking whether they wanted it or not. Lola would have loved to scream and tear her cousin’s messy hair, but no, only a silly child would do that and she considered herself an adult. No, she gathered her patience and asked about the play. But now that she moved on and accepted the fact that she should participate in the play, Jackson and Pierrot ruined everything and Lola had to discipline them. It always worked, they were scared of her, as Lola wouldn’t hesitate to give both of them big slaps or pull and twist their ears, so it was more than enough to just snap at them. Although Lola didn’t blame them, they felt upset, just like she did, moreover they were just kids and didn’t know much about being polite. After getting the roles and reading up a few lines, the twins ran out to the lake for a little swimming. Of course Lola fought out Arabella’s role, if she had to be in this stupid play that was the least thing as a consolation that she could play the main role. Seemed like Briony only could talk about her play, so after the twins left, Briony dramatically stepped out from the room, Lola couldn’t help, but a chuckle has left her mouth. Briony was thirteen years old, but she didn’t change a thing, she was still acting so childish. Lola walked to the window and opened it up widely, but later on she had to admit herself that she rather should have left it closed. The air was even hotter outside than in the stuffy room, on the top of everything a mosquito flew in. Lola quickly shut the window and pulled the silk curtain in, thankfully she didn’t hear the annoying buzzing of the bug again. Lola obviously didn’t want to join her young brothers in the lake but neither wanted to swim later on, it’d have been boring and she didn’t want to get sunburn anyway like a peasant. She was proud of her soft pale skin with all the freckles on it. The freckles, Lola never liked them on herself, she thought that these only ruined the beauty of her body, she couldn’t wait to be old enough for wearing make-up, she hoped with powder she could get rid of her freckles more or less. But if not swimming, then what else could she do there. She smirked and looked around carefully to make sure no one was watching her. She quickly sneaked to her luggage and took out a metal box with a picture of a porcelain doll on it. Once there really used to be a doll inside it, but Lola broke it years ago and since then it functioned as some kind of a secret safe for her. It was perfect, the twins would never open it, as they weren’t interested in dolls and why would the adults open a toy box. Lola grinned excitedly when she opened it up and raised out the heavy book. She slid her palm on the hard cover and ran her fingers all over the title ‘The Memoirs of Jacques Casanova de Seingalt’. She got the book at the same time she begged her mum to buy her lipstick and nail varnish. Of course the case was different with the book itself. On Liberty Street there was this huge book store and her mum let her to wonder around and choose a book herself while she left to a toy store with the twins and Cecil. She imitated like she was looking at the children’s book but as her parents left with the twins she right away ran to the Work of Literature section. Her eyes right away stopped on the elegant cover. She opened it up and began to read the description on the edge of the book, few words reached her mind such as ‘erotic, corruption, romantic, revolting’. She knew it, she needed this book, but her mum would never let her buy it, it was for adults and according to her parents she was still a child. This section of the bookstore was on the first floor, quite in a hidden corner. Lola had her own pocket money, but she couldn’t buy it obviously. Lola was walking up and down with the book in her hand, she knew that the book itself will lead her to a forbidden path, but she sinned as with a quick movement she slid it under her jumper. She easily walked out and waited for her parents front of the building. She stole something first in her life, but she calmed herself, because after all, it wasn’t her fault, she had the money for it, and she’d have gladly paid if there wouldn't be such stupid rules that a child couldn't buy a book like that. She was rather nervous about that her parents or the twins will realize the book’s shape thorough her sweater. Because she was concentrating so tensely to cover her secret treasure, she even spilled a drink on her frock, as they were seeing a matinee pantomime at London Palladium. Lola couldn’t stand it at all, she wanted to see plays like, Romeo and Juliet or Hamlet. But after all it had a positive side that she messed her clothes, because she got pretty pants, just like the one she saw in her mother’s magazine on a model. It was tight around her waist and butt, loosened in the direction of her ankles. It looked so gorgeous and she felt thankful that she didn't choose to wear that on the day she left her home with the twins. The car’s leather seats were dusty and not as clean as they supposed to be. But she determined she’ll wear that on the following they after she’ll take a bath. After all she’ll play Arabella and she wanted everyone to see that she’s not just an adult because of her manner but also her clothes will reveal that she’s not a child. Lola opened the book around the middle of it and placed the pink ribbon beside it, which functioned as a bookmarker. She put off her sandals and took her nail varnish out from the luggage then began to paint her toes then her finger nails. She hated the long time while it’d dry, that’s why she already placed her book down to avoid boredom for that time. Lola found the book really interesting, she felt like with every single page she got closer to become an adult. There were lot of parts which she didn't understand but she determined herself to finish it. Sometimes she found herself imagining she’s one of Casanova’s lover, she could be an adult at least through her fantasies. After she has finished with ten pages Lola glanced satisfied at her red nails and put the book back to its place. The rest of the day was calm and Lola could take a nap finally but it was ruined when Pierrot and Jackson ran back to the room from the lake and not much time after Briony strutted in to start the rehearsal of her stupendous play, at least that’s how Briony boasted about her mother’s comment on ‘The Trials of Arabella’. The twins strangely behaved more or less well during the rehearsal. The swimming during hours and the hot weather must have taken their energy from being bad. Briony was clearly bothered by the fact that Lola will play Arabella, but she didn’t let her direct it, after all it was her play. Lola was reading up her lines without emotions, but correctly. She was thinking about her mother and wondered how long they’ll have to stay away from their home, and what else will her cousin find out just to frustrate her, like this play. Lola wasn’t fond of the dinner, they clearly kept the fresh food for tomorrow’s formal dinner to greet Briony’s brother and during Lola was pretending to eat the poor meal. She also heard that Leon will bring his friend, it seemed like a set up for Cecilia for a date with him. She hardly ate anything, Lola was used to fresh food and the potatoes were so overcooked that its taste was almost bitter. Aunt Emily wasn’t at the table because of her migraine and Cecilia didn’t care about how much food has left on Lola’s plate, she was clearly not at the table in her mind. Lola could tell it from the look of her eyes. When Lola was finally upstairs she craved for a bath, she used her rose scent soup which she lately got as a present from her mother. Lola felt so fresh and clean after the bath and thankfully the weather cooled down a bit, so she could sleep calmly. She was worried all day about it, that she won’t be able to sleep because of the weather and that’d debase her acting performance because of the lack of sleep. The house was all quiet and only the gentle breeze’s noise was hearable as the ginger girl in the white silk nighty, fell asleep.


	2. Chapter 2

The house was echoing from the saucepans’ clashing, the loud tenderizing of the meat, the twins chattering and giggling, the thudding noises as the maids were dusting the carpets. If Lola wouldn’t know, she’d have thought that the king himself will take a visit at the Tallis property. Not much time after breakfast they started to rehearse, but Briony’s initial enthusiasm seemed like has vanished, Lola was wondering why, and she was also a bit angry with her cousin. She forced them to be in her play and now that they agreed and had rehearsals it would be the least to expect of her, to be satisfied, but she wasn’t at all, maybe the reason was that Jackson didn’t participate on the morning rehearsal. He was down in the kitchen to wash his sheet and from the noise, she could tell that Betty Hardman was lecturing him. If there wouldn’t be this stupid rehearsal Lola would go down and snap at the mean old woman, after all Jackson was a guest and she was only a servant. On what base did she dare to shout at him like that? Jackson was a bit more mature than his brother and he felt that something really bad and fatal matter was going on between their parents for a while, and since then he tended to pee in during nights. Lola wasn’t fond of her brothers, but somewhere in her heart she loved them and thought that Mrs Hardman went beyond her limits with Jackson. Not even their parents shouted with them like that. They were in a middle of a scene when imbecile faced Danny Hardman peeked in then stared at Lola. First time since they arrived Lola felt grateful for Briony, because she snapped rather frustrated at the servant boy and sent him away. He was not just an idiot but also so annoying. Lola just couldn’t stand him, and hoped that she won’t see him much during her staying on the property. When Jackson joined them, Pierrot became excited and they left to the pool. Lola didn’t see the reason why should she stat with Briony so she walked over to her room and sat down beside the window. She placed her palm onto the soft curtains and pulled it away. She adjusted her ginger curls, but then something revealed in her reflection through the glass, two shapes by the fountain. Lola shifted closer to the glass and now the blurry shapes cleared up as Lola was focusing on them. Her eyes widened up when she realized Cecilia was undressing front of Robbie. Lola gasped and covered her mouth, she had quite big knowledge from her book and one thing was on her mind. “Will they do it now, where anyone can see them?” But then Lola looked confused when Cecilia dived under the fountain’s surface. She was wondering whether it was some kind of an adult ritual before sex. Then her thinking was interrupted as someone stepped into her room. She glared at Danny Hardman and snapped at him even rougher than Briony did in the morning. 

“You hick! Damn you! Didn’t your parents teach you to knock before you enter somewhere?!”

Seemed like her raised up tone and angry glaring helped. Danny was standing there all frozen down looking for words.

“Lola, I…was just thinking, it’d be fun to go to the pool and swim together with you.”

Lola crossed her eyebrows and tried to look like an adult.

“Well listen up, you undereducated goop! First of all, I am not Lola, but Miss Quincey for you! Secondly you’d be the last person I’d ask to be my company at the pool. I’d appreciate if from now on you’d avoid starting a conversation or even to look at me. Was that understandable, Hardman?!”

The young servant boy looked hurt but after all without saying anything, he left her room with a nod. Lola quickly turned back to the window, but both Robbie and Cecilia disappeared, she hit the inner ledge of the window in anger. Because of that damn boy she couldn’t saw what happened. Did Robbie kissed Cecilia, or did anything else happened at all? She accepted the fact that she’ll never find it out. She only saw Robbie once since they were in the house. He seemed a bit foolish to Lola as he was following Cecilia in the hallway barefoot, but she also found it a bit amusing. From what she saw, Robbie seemed to be a nice and average, handsome guy. Lola didn’t care much about him, she didn’t find the childish features on his cheek attractive, it made him look like if he’d still be a teenage boy. What Lola found attractive was completely different from the way Robbie looked like. If it was about an adult man, she fancied if he looked masculine, mature, who had serious and rough characteristic. Her soul was so sensible and it was craving for romance, but she neither had the opportunity nor has ever met someone who she’d have found handsome. Lola had an ideal man in her head which she tried to draw down several times, but it always ended in failure. It was so hard to explain, she saw him in her mind but never succeeded to give his beauty back on paper. In the girl’s boarding school she didn’t consider herself the best or the most hardworking, as her mother used to say, Lola was just like her, she had an artistic gift, that’s why the stupid calculations caused problems to her on Maths classes. But she had a gift in Literature, French, Arts and Latin. But besides her success she hated her school. It was so annoying that there were only girls in the whole institution. She heard about schools for poorer children where girls and boys were studying in the same class. She was troubling her parents to transfer her into a school like that, but she soon gave up, as the answer was always the same. But now that she was away from home perhaps she could start her first year at a high school where she’ll have boy classmates. After all Emily wasn’t her mother, so she thought but rather hoped that when it’ll come to the time for a high school application, she can choose freely. Then her thoughts were interrupted by Betty Hardman’s shouting from the kitchen. Lola wasn’t hungry at all but she thought it’s a must to show herself at the table if she wanted to keep up her polite reputation. She straightened her pink trousers what she got on Liberty and began to strut down on the stairs, when the wooden frame’s back appeared in her eye sight. She turned left to see the front of it, but the poster was missing, someone clearly tore it off, leastwise that’s what she deduced about the remains of it. The twins arrived back from the pool and Mrs Hardman shouted at them to change their clothes because they’ll have guests for dinner and she didn’t want the twins to make the chairs wet because of their swimming trunks. Lola squeezed her fists, she really had to hold herself back, the maid was right, but she could have ask it on a different tone. No it was clear for Lola why was Danny Hardman that impolite, such as the tree such is the fruit. When the twins finally joined them Mrs Hardman brought out the tomato soup for them. Lola dipped her spoon in it and frowned, it was served with rice, she was used to eat it with noodles. Emily wasn’t at the table again, the only adult now was Cecilia, her dark hair was still wet. Lola felt really proud that she knew the reason of it, the only thing she didn’t knew what happened after, and it still upset her.

“Lola, do you know where Briony is?”

The wondering girl snapped out of her theories, and she just then realized that since the morning rehearsal she hasn’t even seen her cousin. But before she could have answered, Jackson cut in.

“She didn’t come to do the rehearsal, but we need more, to play properly front of the guests.” 

Cecilia nodded but Lola didn’t think that any of the words reached her mind, she seemed really lightheaded. Lola left again without eating anything, she had all her hopes on the dinner. The twins weren’t allowed to go to the pool for the rest of the day and it made them more upset. Hours passed like that the twins were lazing on the floor whining about Briony’s absence, meanwhile Lola was playing with her ginger curls, staring at the distance with her big blue eyes, but didn’t really grasped the view, otherwise she’d notice the car driving through the bridge in the direction of the mansion. Lola only snapped out of her bored stare when the cars break and engine’s noise filled the area. Lola pulled the curtain away slowly but its driver and passenger have already left the fancy, yellow Rolls Royce. Lola was actually ignorant about cars, but she saw this model in a magazine and assumed that whether the car was Leon’ or his friend’s, he must be rich. Not much time later she heard someone coming up the stairs then a creaking noise as a door opened, after a thudding noise and the footsteps soon faded away. Lola thought that it must have been Danny and brought up the luggage. Then she had to giggle as something crossed her mind, that all these efforts are unnecessary, Leon’s friend will be disappointed, because Cecilia’s heart already belonged to Robbie, at least that’s what the little girl was assuming. She heard traces of noises, chattering, and Cecilia’s voice and two other male’s voices. One of them was smooth and deep, she wondered whether it’s Leon’s voice. After a while when the guests left, Lola sneaked out to the corridor and walked pass to the neighbour room. The door was wide open, like it has been calling her inside. The room was all clean, but the air was even stiffer than in the nursery room, this place must have been out of use since a while. The antique Chinese vase distracted her to look more around in the room. She leaned above the bouquet and sniffed it in, but before she’d get back on her feet –because she was on her tip toes to reach up the vase- she glanced out the window, she wasn’t sure, but it seemed like Briony was outside but the shape was blurry and Lola didn’t want to stay any longer in the room as anyone could have come in. When she was just about to leave something caught her eyes, a fancy luggage lying on top of the four poster bed. Lola ran her finger tips on the lock, when suddenly it opened up, she tried not to panic, so she quickly pushed it down and ran back to the nursery room. While the twins weren’t around Lola leaned back in an armchair and continued reading her book, but it was hard to concentrate in such a heat. The weather became more unbearable than it was yesterday. When Lola heard the twins’ voice she slid the book beside the little mirror on the table where her red lipstick was laying as well.


	3. Chapter 3

Lola was playing with her curls while she poured more perfume on her neck and wrists, while the twins were whining mostly about that they wanted to go back home. Lola was tolerating them patiently but then it was enough, when Jackson stated that their parents will divorce. Lola couldn’t believe how neglectful he was, if he found this out the least would be that he wouldn’t say it out loudly front of Pierrot, who was way more sensitive and naïve than his brother. Lola maybe snapped at him harder than she should have, but also the warmth and the stress affected her temper. She grabbed her brother’s ears and squeezed them firmly while she was shouting with him, that he should never say that again. When she thought it’s enough, Lola walked off from his brother and leaned against a pillar. Pierrot asked something but Lola was way too angry to pay attention to him, but then her heart skipped a beat, when she heard the deep, masculine tone. As she saw the face of this stranger, she forgot to breathe for a while. Lola didn’t say it out loud but something echoed in her ears: ‘Oh God mercy on me…’. Doubt of the young girl’s intense feelings, she tried to hide them. She tilted her head to rest her eyes on the handsome guest. Lola was praying that he didn’t hear her quick heart beating, because she did and her panting was getting even louder. As Paul Marshall began to talk about the oncoming war and his chocolate factory Lola felt desperate. Robbie Turner was nothing beside this beautiful man, she felt it that Cecilia will probably break up with Robbie and gladly marry Marshall. Was she really jealous? Yes, she definitely was, she tried to gain Paul’s attention with her provoking look and graceful movement as she leaned over to the pillar which was closer to Marshall. It even seemed like for a second that she put him out of countenance. She did her best to look and behave like an adult. It seemed a difficult task to outshine Cecilia’s beauty but Lola was determined, whenever she wanted something. She hoped that Paul liked her rose perfume which filled the air around them, or her red nails. One thing was certain, he fancied her pants and for the compliment Lola completely blushed. She wanted to requite it, but it was so hard as she loved everything on Marshall. Finally she chose to say something nice about his fashionable shoes. After Paul has finished with his long monologue about the war and his business, Lola got a chocolate from him, she saw the tension in his eyes when he said her or rather commanded her on a slightly aroused voice tone: ‘Bite it, you have to bite it.’ As it began to melt in her mouth, Lola blushed how impassively Marshall was staring at her, maybe because of the situation, but Lola thought if sin would have an aroma, it’d taste like Paul Marshall’s Amo Bar. She was snapped out from Paul’s seductive look when Betty Hardman yelled up for the boys to come down for a bath. Lola didn’t dare to look into Marshall’s eyes when the door shut on them, and they were left alone. 

“You remind me one of my sister.”

Lola smiled and looked up thankfully at Paul for breaking the uncomfortable silence. 

“How does she look like?”

Lola leaned against the pillar and watched as Marshall rubbed his moustache with the side of his hand while he kept staring at her.

“She’s about the same age as you. You have many freckles on your face just like her.”

Lola so far felt so embarrassed about her freckles but Paul seemed to like them.

“What’s her name?”

She clang onto the pillar and leaned to Paul so close that they both could smell each other’s perfume. Paul shifted a bit in the armchair where he was sitting and licked the edge of his mouth slightly. 

“Maggie…not as nice name as yours, Miss Quincey.”

Lola blushed again, when he called her by her family name like she’d be an adult. But then Paul stood up and turned his back on her, Lola thought she did something wrong, but the real reason was the opposite of it. He needed to get out of her provoking eye contact, because it made him uncomfortably aroused. Paul glanced onto the table and surprised when he saw a book from Casanova’s life book series. When he lifted up the book he smirked as he heard the little girl’s gasp and saw the scared look on her face. 

“It’s alright darling. I won’t tell anyone about it, but it’s not a shame at all, it’s a wonderful piece of art. Myself, read it twice already, all of his books.”

Lola’s chest turned red on her cleavage’s part, she was worried that he found about her secret. Paul was running his eyes through the sentences and grinned when reached to a part. He leaned down to Lola as their noses almost met and began to read up on his soothing low voice.

“Soon her beautiful breasts were exposed to my burning kisses. The flame of my love lit another in her heart, and forgetting her former self she opened her arms to me, making me promise not to despite her, and what would one not promise!”

Then Paul turned the book upside down for himself, like now he wanted Lola to continue it on her thin childish voice. 

“The modesty inherent in the sex, the fear of results, perhaps a kind of instinct which reveals to the natural faithlessness of men make women ask for such promises, but what mistress, if really amorous, would even think of asking her lover to respect her in the moment of delirious ecstasy, when all one’s being is centered on the fulfilment of desire?”

When Lola stopped reading Paul was still there facing her closely. Lola didn’t exactly understand this part of the book, but Paul seemed satisfied. He took the book out of her hand and placed it back on the table. Lola felt guilty about her feeling because when Paul was reading up, her panties soaked as it usually did when she was reading the book, but Lola wasn’t interested in Casanova anymore, here was the real man standing front of her, who maybe would make her dreams come true. 

Everything happened so quickly and still so much. Lola was alone in the nursery room with her bruised arms and tearful eyes, she couldn’t explain even to herself, what was it that she felt. But it was mostly fear and sinful lust. She couldn’t fight it but she had to tell someone about what has happened, as she was stepping soundless on the corridor she saw Briony’s room and wondered whether she came back or not. Her ginger curls flattened out as she was eavesdropping on her door, there was no sound at all but after a quick knocking she stepped in, and there was Briony sitting by her table. When Lola entered she immediately hid some papers in her drawer. Lola was looking at her cousin and realized it’d be a mistake if she’d tell her the truth. She’d probably right away alarm her mother and Lola wanted it the less. Lola made a silly little lie about her twins, how they tortured her. If Briony would know Lola and her brothers better, she’d never believe her lie nor the others. Lola had respect in her brother’s eyes, she was bossy with them and once in a while slapped them up. As they were little boys, sometimes, mainly Jackson tended to be cheeky but neither of them would ever dare to hit Lola and especially not so brutally like those bruises were on her arms. Moreover Lola was strong enough to protect herself. Her lie had more mistakes which her mother or father wouldn’t believe, but it was about the Tallis family and they did. Briony didn’t concern much about the bruises, only when she observed them more closely. But it seemed like there was something more important which was in her mind. For a while Briony was just watching her fake sniffing cousin with her red cheek, but then she started speaking so fast and nervous, that Lola really had to pay attention to understand all of Briony’s sentences. Lola was so excited as Briony told exactly what happened at the fountain between Robbie and Cecilia. She was a bit disappointed that they didn’t even kiss, but then came the more interesting part, the letter. Lola had to hold back a chuckle that it seemed so embarrassing for Briony to say that word out loudly what was in the letter. That ‘really bad word’ as she explained. Briony was so naïve and childish, Lola closed down her eyes and remembered back what happened after they stopped reading up from Casanova with Paul. 

Lola leaned in to Paul, as she was standing on her tip toes and shyly moved closer to his lips. Paul’s cheek turned red and he was breathing fast, like he’d try to hold himself back, but he wasn’t a self-restraining man. Lola held her lips loosen and let him guide how to kiss, he held her arms with those strong hands. She stared into his eyes and began to fantasize, she wanted him to touch her, there. What if Briony would know that Lola wanted Paul to touch her cunt, oh yes, the ‘really bad word’. She didn’t mean it though, she imagined how it would be, but when Paul slid his long fingers under her pants and underwear, she whimpered. Paul grabbed her arms tightly and struggled to push her down on the bed. Lola got panicked, she had more reasons. First of all, anyone could have opened in, secondly his wild and fast arousal frightened her She felt how he pressed his bulge against her panties, one part of her wanted it so badly, but her brain was stronger, however she craved for his touch she had to stop him for his sake. Lola closed her eyes down only for a few seconds and enjoyed how her cunt was itching under the pressure of his member. But the next thing she’s done was against what she wanted, but she had to. Lola after a longer struggle managed to escape her arm and scratched Paul’s cheek with her long nails. She froze down, the slap on her cheek came faster than a reflex. Paul got off her and adjusted his suit. He didn’t say a word and that scared Lola more than if he’d yell at her. Was it too much? Did she cross a line, she wasn’t supposed to? After all Paul wasn’t one of her cheeky brothers, he was an adult. Lola shifted on the bed and adjusted her pants. 

“This was insolent…I feel ashamed….sorry, Mr Marshall.”

Lola was gathering her braveness to finally spit out these words. Paul supposed to be angry, after all that’s what Lola thought. There was a slight cruelty in his eyes but with that charming smirk he looked so dashingly handsome. He stepped to the dressing table and picked up her lipstick. 

“I want you to wear it at dinner.”

Lola took the lipstick out from his hand and slipped it into her pocket. Then Marshall left the room without saying anything else or without looking back at Lola. The girl was standing straight at the same spot minutes after where Paul left her. Could it be possible that he liked her and maybe wanted more? Lola didn’t like to delude herself, but this time the impossible seemed very attainable. She didn’t even realize how she got carried away by her memories and she was smiling. Briony’s disapproving look scared her. She shouldn’t become suspicious, she shouldn’t think about that the story with Robbie amused her. Lola had to act, she had to say something which calmed her cousin’s doubts.

“It’s horrible…he’s a sex maniac…you should tell the police.”

Lola’s acting was convincing enough, and Briony was pleased with her reaction. While Lola was preparing herself for dinner she felt a bit guilty about her comment. She didn’t think that about Robbie, but she had to tell it because her cousin wanted to hear it, because she was sure that Robbie was a bad man who meant threat for her sister. But it wasn’t true, and Lola knew that. Lola knew that Robbie and Cecilia probably were in love, she just couldn’t understand why her childish cousin couldn’t get that. She looked into the mirror and her reflection seemed so different, not just because of the red lipstick but it was like she saw a different woman in there, a mature young lady who was in love.


	4. Chapter 4

“Wipe that lipstick off Lola, you’re far too young.”

Briony’s mother wasn’t right, she was old enough, at least that’s what Lola thought and Paul as well. While she was wiping off the red lipstick with the side of her hand, they were looking at each other with Paul. She loved that expression on his face, they had a secret and no one else knew about it. She wasn’t really upset about what Emily said, but she thought Paul would have liked to kiss her with her lipstick on. Paul was smiling at her a bit proudly, like his face would say: ‘I’ve already kissed this pre-Raphaelite beauty and none of you even suspect it.” When Cecilia arrived with Robbie, beside the polite greeting Paul didn’t even look or bother himself about Cecilia. ‘Victory’ thought Lola and adjusted her emerald hairpin just to make sure Marshall would notice the pretty jewellery in her hair, but even if Lola wouldn’t make any effort, he’d look at her anyway. He was mesmerized by the little girl’s beauty. Lola heard the others talking at the table, but the meaning of the words didn’t reach her, like she and Paul would be in a caul and no one else mattered but them. A spring scene’s memory appeared front of Lola’s eyes, when she and her mother were sitting in a coffee bar. 

Lola was upset about that she got a hot chocolate, so her mother allowed her to take a sip from her cappuccino. Then there was this couple, not far from their table, both seemed to be college students. The girl was chuckling and the boy was deeply blushed, Lola thought they must be talking about a funny story or just flirting, but then she saw something new. The blond girl was slipped out of her shoes and her foot was rubbing against the boy’s crotch. Lola couldn’t help herself but stare, but she felt so ashamed, because the boy noticed her. She thought that he’ll alert his girlfriend and maybe they’ll even talk to her mother. The boy indeed pointed with his head at Lola, but his girlfriend just winked at Lola and her boyfriend chuckled a bit with more blush. 

She found herself burning hot from the idea that she should perhaps try it out on Paul, but eventually she decided not to, she wasn’t exactly scared, but if she’d do it, she wouldn’t seem so innocent and maidenly in his eyes. And Lola felt embarrassed already about the juicy book, so she decided that’s just enough if she’ll flirt with her provoking look. 

“Look what they did to Lola! Bruised her arms, gave her Chinese burns.”

Lola and Paul both snapped out of their fantasies and stared at Briony, because of her sharp tone. Lola was just about to say that it’s nothing too serious, but then Emily already took a look at her bruises, she was shocked and even questioned whether the twins did that. Lola thought that’s it, that’s the end of her romance, she was out of lies and excuses, but then Paul took control over everything. He explained how did the twins do it and that they even scratched his face. Lola would love to ran over to him and snuggle between his arms for how smart he was. Robbie though raised one of his eyebrows and looked at Marshall like the story wouldn’t have convinced him, but Lola was ahead of him, if he’ll try to reveal them, she’ll do the same with him and Cecilia. But soon another worrying thing happened, the twins were gone, Lola couldn’t believe that why her brothers were so misbehaving. Paul right away advised that he’ll start to look for them, and the others agreed with him. Lola stood up from the table, she couldn’t stand sitting any longer, the way Paul looked at her, made her heart jump. She was looking all around blushed, but because of some suspicious glances she decided to act like she was worried about the twins. 

“Damn it, damn it!”

She was mumbling this two words then something happened which she wouldn’t even think about. Marshall stood up and held onto her arm. 

“Everything will be alright.”

His words had to calm her, but it didn’t. She was actually wondering whether a young girl like her can get a heart attack, because she heard her fast pulse echoing in her ears and her legs were trembling. Then he took a step back and told the other that they should go now, but he glanced back from behind his shoulder, Lola knew what that look meant, so she did follow them. She was stepping after the little searching group and after a while they split up. Paul was walking farer from them, he crossed the bridge, didn’t even look back, not even once, like he was certain about that the little girl was following him. In the light of his torch Lola saw the shape of an old church or rather the ruins of it, then Paul stopped behind the bushes which could not be seen from the main road. Lola’s little steps seemed so loud in the quite place, she stopped beside Paul and didn’t know if she should say something or not. Because Paul still didn’t look at her she decided to hold onto his hand. 

“You know there’s no return now. You’ll never be the same child, you used to be. Do you really want it?”

Paul still was staring front of himself but held Lola’s hand tightly. She didn’t exactly understood the meaning behind his words, but she had enough of playing with dolls, watching matinees, being treated like a child. She just wanted to grow up, and she loved Paul from the first time she saw him. Lola craved for his touch. 

“I don’t want to be a child anymore.”

The answer was like a spell for Paul, he immediately looked down at Lola, she was beautiful, her pink dress fitted so tightly on her mildly curvy body. Paul slid his hands down on her side until her waist and dragged her down to the grass under himself. He knew they didn’t have much time, Robbie or Leon could find the twins at any time. He’d love to show a little passion or make it seem more romantic for Lola, but he couldn’t. Paul was worried that if he’d do it slowly and carefully someone might find them soon. He lifted up Lola’s dress and slid her panties down till her knees, he didn’t take of his pants, only unfolded his member which was rising up massively to enter the untouched beauty. 

“It’ll hurt.”

Lola nodded and spread her legs more as Paul wanted.

“Cover my mouth.”

She never was good at bearing pains and it wouldn’t be different this time either, so she thought it’s the best way to avoid anyone hearing her whimpering or screaming. His warms hand wrapped around her mouth and with a firm thrust he was inside her. Lola moaned loudly into his palm with pain, and a few tears made Paul’s hand wet. He began to make his thrusts faster like he’d do it in rhythm, while he whispered on a trembling voice into Lola’s ears. 

“I’m sorry about the pain. You’re so beautiful Lola.”

She slightly nodded and Paul continued doing it. She didn’t imagine her first time like this, they weren’t undressed, Paul was behind her, so she couldn’t enjoy his kisses or just to gaze into his eyes. Lola also felt it uncomfortable how she had to kneel on the ground, a few pebbles were bruising her knees but she let him do it, she was too scared that maybe it’s their only chance and she wouldn’t want to miss it at all. However she wanted it, she couldn’t lie to herself, she didn’t enjoy it at all, not even a little. Lola had a burning pain inside her, but Paul’s lips on her neck soothed her pain. Beside the panting he was quiet, he didn’t say anything to her. Lola didn’t know why but a few memories flashed front of her eyes, as she’s playing with her brothers, when they were on a beach with their parents. She felt guilty about doing what she was doing. She wondered whether she was ready for this. Or was she just mature enough in her mind and her body was too young for this? But she quickly chased the thoughts away, she definitely wanted it, back in the nursery room her body was burning from Paul’s kiss and touch. Lola just fantasized about more romantic circumstances, but she was grateful that after all they had a chance to do it, to sin. If a young girl’s accumulated desires and one man’s affection uniting could be called a sin. Lola’s thoughts got back to present time, his panting became faster and after few intense thrusts he stopped. Lola smiled as he hugged her body to himself, his other hand was still on Lola’s mouth but loosen on his grip. A torch’s light flashed on them and its owner dropped it on the grass after a few seconds. Lola didn’t know yet who it was but as the torch hit the ground Marshall quickly got out of her and ran away. Lola’s face was still wet from the tears, so she thought no matter who was it she has to force herself to cry, no one could ever suspect that she wanted it too. It was Briony, Lola would love to slap her up for interrupting such an intimate moment. First the stupid play of hers, then the drama about her bruises at the table and now this. But of course she couldn’t, she had to plat the innocent, well behaved girl. Lola didn’t think too much and came up with a raping story but didn’t mention who did it, instead she lied he covered her eyes. As Briony told she knew who it was, Lola’s thought were racing how she should threaten her or blackmail somehow, so she would not reveal to anyone that it was Paul Marshall. But then Briony said she saw it was Robbie. Lola was a bit confused, why would her cousin accuse Robbie, the sweet guy who wouldn’t harm anyone. If she really saw them, she should have knew that it was Paul, but if she didn’t then why did she made up that it was Robbie? Well, Lola knew it was wrong to agree with her but this was the best way to save Paul from everyone. She really didn’t want an innocent man to suffer for things he didn’t commit, so she told her cousin she can’t say it for sure, but eventually she said yes. Briony seemed satisfied. When Leon brought them back to the property Emily and Cecilia was standing all nervous when they saw the crying little girl in Leon’s arms. Only Paul seemed calm, despite the fact that he should have been the most nervous about the whole situation, maybe he was relaxed because there wasn’t any sign of that Leon would know the truth. He’s seen Briony clearly outside in the woods, but maybe she didn’t or maybe Lola talked with her. Briony broke the silence with the accusation of Robbie, thankfully no one watched Marshall so they couldn’t see the slight smirk on his face, he wasn’t exactly relieved, rather self-confident. Lola glanced at him while she was struggling with her fake tears, Paul seemed rather bored while the others were discussing what to do next. First of all they called the police, and Robbie still hasn’t appeared. Lola sighed with guilt and thought that poor guy must be still looking for the twins and didn’t even suspect that his life will change because of Briony. Lola calmed her conscious that she’d never have accused Robbie, she only agreed to protect Paul after all. She shifted a bit on the couch and raised her head up, she couldn’t see Paul anywhere. No, he couldn’t leave, that’d ruin the whole made up story, he’d become suspicious. Lola was about to wake up but then she heard a low snorting noise not far beside her from the other couch. Her heart began to beat fast and even a little chuckle left her mouth, which no one else heard because the policeman just arrived and everyone else was busy with him. Lola leaned back on the cushion and admired Paul sleeping on the sofa and an almost empty glass of champagne was on the floor beside him where his arm was leaning down moveless. She looked around carefully then whispered on her thin voice.

“I love you.”

Marshall was fast asleep and instead of an answer he just snorted louder. Lola hugged herself and leaned on her back. The others were approaching to her and she should have vanished the wide smile off her cheek. She faked her crying and scared look till the policeman was interrogating her. Leon at the end shook Marhsall’s arm so the police could ask a few questions from him. He was completely calm and a bit sleepy. After Lola took a shower the doctor examined her who arrived after the police. She was mature enough from the stories of Casanova to know that she could have become pregnant, she had her period since she was twelve years old. The doctor gave her few medicines and left her in the room with a maid as everyone else was standing outside on the mansion’s porch. She must have got a tranquillizer because she was already asleep when Robbie came back with the twins. Paul was smoking calmly outside, even chatted with the police officers, like nothing would have happened, like it’d be a nice barbeque party and the officers would have been guests as well. Robbie was standing puzzled as everyone was staring at him like he’d be some kind of a monster. Only Cecilia’s look was different from the others, her expression showed pity and sadness as well. Cecilia knew that Robbie could never commit such a horrible thing, her Robbie. But the police didn’t care about her, they had one witness and Lola also agreed with Briony. The took Robbie away and Briony felt victory but also fear with guilt, deep inside her she knew it was wrong, because she knew that the man she’s seen wasn’t Robbie.


	5. Chapter 5

On the next morning, the whole mansion was so soundless, when Lola woke up, she thought for a second that maybe everyone has left. Even before she’d change into her clothes, she rushed to the window to make sure that the yellow Rolls Royce was still parking outside. It was. Lola leaned against the wall and slid down onto the floor, she felt like she’s melting from feelings. She sat down at the dressing table to comb her ginger curls, she always have paid attention to look pretty but this time she was even more careful, she didn’t care about Emily, she put lipstick on her. After she was satisfied with her reflection Lola opened up her luggage, she still didn’t pack her things out, maybe because she was hoping soon she can go back home. But since Marshall has arrived she didn’t want to leave and hoped he’ll stay for a long time. The weather was still boiling hot, Lola found a pretty white short which she thought would make the warm weather more bearable. It reached above her knees and following the actual trend, its belt line was high up around her waist. She got a pretty silk blouse for her birthday with pink heart patterns on it and it didn’t have any sleeve, she thought these clothes would match perfectly together. Lola was stepping down on the old creaky stairs at the end of it she bumped into Emily who seemed so shocked as she saw the cheerful little girl.

“Lola! You must be laying in your bed!”

Lola sighed disappointedly, she wasn’t ill or anything like that. She lost her virginity, that’s all. But of course she couldn’t answer this to her aunt. 

“Thank you for worrying about me, but I feel much better, and I’d like to take a walk outside, fresh air would use.”

Emily still looked a bit unsure, but after all nodded in agreement. 

“The twins are outside on the tennis court, with my son and Mr Marshall.”

Lola quickly said her that she’ll join them, she had to force herself not to run, but her steps were faster than they should have been anyway. She didn’t care about anything else just to see Paul again. The twins were lying beside the court, seemingly the adults game didn’t hold their attention much. They greeted Lola but they looked like if they both were upset with her. She thought probably because they thought she is the only reason why they were still there, moreover their attempt to escape failed and it made them upset. When Lola approached closer both men stopped playing and Leon smiled kindly at her. 

“You look much better now Lola. I’m sorry about what have happened.”

Lola smiled back at her cousin as she shook her head slightly.

“Let’s just not talk about it, I feel better indeed.”

She looked up at Paul and her heart was beating so fast again, she just couldn’t control it. She hardly understood how this man could have such an effect on her.

“Would you like to join the game, Miss Quincey?”

Paul tossed the tennis ball into her hands like he did before with the chocolate bar. Lola didn’t know much about tennis but she’d love to play with him.

“I’ll gladly join you. It’s my favourite sport.”

Lola took Leon’s racket with full of confidence then handed the ball back into Marshall’s palm with a slight touch, for a second so Leon wouldn’t suspect anything. She got into a position like she saw the other players did before, but she couldn’t exactly recall how they held the racket, so she raised her arms out and held it like it’d be a pan. Marshall couldn’t help himself but to snicker and a few seconds later Leon joined him as well.

“Show her how to hold it, Paul.”

Lola pouted and felt so embarrassed but when Paul stepped behind her and touched her arms it calmed her down. Paul gently stroked her bruised wrists with his thumbs, but he knew they weren’t on their own, she he positioned the racket on her hands the right way. 

“Bend your elbows, don’t be so stiff, and loosen your arms.”

“Did you think about the last night?”

Lola looked up into his eyes so passionately, he clearly could see how much she was in love with him. But he stepped away from her and walked over to his side. They didn’t play for a long time because of the heat and Lola hit a little per cent of the balls back. She couldn’t play and even Paul’s silence distracted her thoughts. Her age and the first love’s feeling disturbed her to play her part perfectly, to act like nothing has happened between them. But Paul was mature and smart enough, and he couldn’t let himself to continue flirting with her. While Leon was talking with the twins to cheer them up a little, Paul rested his eyes on Lola’s thighs as she was bending down to collect the balls. He was fighting with himself, he knew he’d leave after the weekend, but he wanted to see Lola again, however crazy and risky it was, he wanted to see her again. Robbie was clearly guilty, at least Briony made everyone believe that, but Briony was even a younger girl than Lola, and Paul had no idea about her thinking and action, that why did she lie. She was hard to understand, but she definitely saw Paul, and she must have felt guilt. Briony and her sister didn’t leave their room since last night. Lola knew exactly why, she knew that Cecilia loved Robbie and she knew that Cecilia would never believe that Robbie was the rapist, so she was more than angry with her sister. They weren’t present at the dinner, not even Emily could brought them down. The twins were stirring their soups indifferently, while Paul was talking about his business and the oncoming war. As he glanced at the upset twins, his mind cleared up, he knew exactly what to do.  
“Mrs. Tallis, if you don’t mind me offering, I’d gladly take the Quincey kids with me. I’d show them around my chocolate factory and of course they could taste anything they fancy. I know it must be hard for them, after all what has happened lately. It’d cheer them up a little before school would start for them.”

The twins excitedly clapped and whined in chorus that they wanted to go. Emily seemed to hesitate so Paul decided to continue. 

“Your son would be with us as well. I’ve just bought a new house at Clapham Common, there’s enough place, so they could stay for a few days. It must be hard for them, because they’re far from their home. They are so young for hard times like this.”

The twins continued to whine and Leon agreed with Paul as well, which was enough for Emily and she said yes. Lola stayed soundless for the rest of the time, she was way more excited than the twins, she was afraid if she’d open her mouth, she’d just burst out into cheerful screaming. After dinner Lola helped the twins pack in their luggage because they, opposite of their sister, threw all of their clothes and toys all over in the room. They went to bed surprisingly without making any fuss, seemingly the little trip to the chocolate factory indeed made them happy. After Lola left their room, she knew it was a silly idea, but she took her way to Paul’s room. Her heart was beating faster by every closer step to the room. She even was a bit scared what if someone would see her and question her that what is she doing. Or even worse if a noisy maid would peek on her, she would tell Emily where she went. Lola thought that maybe she shouldn’t risk it but she was already standing there, front of the blue room’s door. A knock would maybe rise up someone’s attention, so she simply stepped in. The room was dark, more or less, only the moon provided a little light in the room. The bed was empty but it was unnecessary to look around because through the open window, she heard Paul’s and Leon’s chattering coming from the porch. Just when she was about to leave the room, she froze like a sculpture, because of the footsteps’ noise. The door was slightly open and she could see the two shaped stopping beside it. Lola crouched down and sneaked into the shadow so the others wouldn’t see her. 

“Cecilia! Come back right now! My migraine is causing me way too much pain, I don’t need your childish behaviour. Go and talk to Briony, and let us all forget about it.”

Cecilia turned around, Lola saw her red face, maybe because of crying, anger or both. Lola was relieve a bit though, that the reason why they stopped front of the room was only a coincidence and had nothing to do with her. 

“Briony is dead to me, I won’t talk to her again, so as with this family who all assisted in the conviction of an innocent man.”

Lola thought that Cecilia would burst into tears, she was arguing so passionately, but she didn’t. She was strong or at least strong enough to force herself to be tough. 

“Your sister’s done the right thing. Stop this nonsense Cecilia! We all were shocked about what happened but you’ll just make everything worse if you keep denying the truth….You graduated at a University, why on Earth would you go to London, to be a plain nurse?”

Emily’s voice was quiet and she also tried to shush her daughter to avoid anyone’s attention in the house.

“I have a friend there, no need to worry about me. Anywhere will be better than here.”

Cecilia grabbed up her luggage and with quick steps she left. Emily was standing still for a while, then after a deep sigh she left the corridor as well. Lola felt guilt and so deep, honest pity for poor Robbie and Cecilia. But she couldn’t tell the truth, she knew it was wrong but she loved Paul too much. When the corridor was clear she quickly sneaked back into her room and laid down in the uncomfortably small bed. She was disappointed that she didn’t find Paul in his room, but she thought it was worthy. She felt clever because she heard the conversation, she was wondering though what will Briony react to this, when she’ll realize in the morning that her sister has left, probably forever. But then she thought about herself and Paul, after all her life was changing so much. So far everything happened so slowly around her. The boring years at the boarding school, the twins frustrating, childish mischiefs and behaving, all these years seemed like centuries, but since she arrived to Surrey and first glanced at the property, everything speeded up around her, so as time. It sounded silly in her head but she felt like it. From the first moment she saw Paul Marshall she felt like she was just going with the steam. That certain night, when she stopped being a child, seemed like a second for her and she could recall its memories only blurry. She didn’t understand it, and she hated that she had clear and long memories about all the boring parts of her life. That’s was mostly the reason why she sneaked onto Paul’s room, she had to bring up that memory. She wanted to be in his strong arms, to feel his wet kisses covering her body. Lola hardly knew anything about him, but she was blindly in love with him, she thought about him like a hero. A man, who saved her from her boring life, and finally helped dragging her out from her childhood, Lola was proud, she wasn’t a kid anymore, she was a woman and not just a woman but a lover, his lover.


	6. Chapter 6

Lola held her eyes on the front seat while Paul started the engine. Only Emily was standing on the porch waving to the kids. When Lola raised her head up Briony’s window was closed and the curtain didn’t let her see whether her cousin was peeking out but probably didn’t. It was likely that Emily had already told her the bad news. She still felt a bit bad for Robbie but Briony was the guiltiest in this whole drama. Lola’s aunt soon seemed like a spot and the huge mansion like a tiny model. Lola didn’t even suspect that this was the last time she’s seen the Tallis property.   
The road wasn’t boring at all, and not just because Paul’s house was closer than their old home, but he kept talking about his factory and his new house. Lola was leaned forward holding onto the driver’s seat and listened to Paul’s low voice in admiration. While the twins were playing with each other and Leon was fast asleep. 

“Tell me more about Clapham Common.”

Paul smirked contently, he felt rather upset about how Cecilia and Leon reacted when he was talking about his business, they were rude, however Paul didn’t mention it. But now, the little girl’s full attention pleased him.

“It has a vast park with lots of pounds and trees in it, my house has a view to the park, it’s spectacularly beautiful.”

Lola leaned a little bit more forward and gazed into the mirror where Paul could see her.

“Will you take me there?”

Paul gulped and glanced quickly at Leon but he was still asleep. 

“If you want to. I bet your brothers would enjoy running around and feeding ducks, am I right, boys?”

Paul raised up his tone so the twins heard him as well, Lola leaned back with a frown. That’s not what she meant at all, Marshall wasn’t stupid he knew exactly what Lola wanted, but especially after what had happened a few days ago, he couldn’t let himself act too nicely with her. He glanced back to the mirror and saw the grudge on Lola’s face, maybe she was too young to understand that it wasn’t just a game between them, but serious, and even a little mistake could lead to Paul’s arrest. He felt worried about that, just because of a little fuss she might reveal their secret somehow, so he decided to talk to her in private, all he needed is good timing.   
The park was indeed beautiful, so as Paul’s house, it wasn’t well furniture yet and big boxes were laying all over in the corners, probably with Paul’s clothes and other belongings. Lola’s got a room on the first floor, except for the bed and the old lamp it was all empty but the view was indeed amazingly beautiful. Lola was sitting in the window watching families, couples walking in the park, but she couldn’t smile. Paul’s cold behaviour hurt her and she didn’t know why he was doing that, maybe he got bored of her or he had another lover. She was about to fall into self-pity, the first tear drop was already about to run down on her cheek when Jackson tore up her door and excitedly jumped around because Paul and Leon was ready to take them to the chocolate factory. Lola waved her hand slightly that she will join them in a minute. She was angry with herself, after all it was silly to cry about something which she wasn’t even certain about. And only babies or little kids cried, she thought, adults didn’t, and she had to act like one of them. 

“Come on Lola we’re waiting for you.”

Lola fastened up her steps on the wooden stairs and forced a smile at her cheerful cousin.

When the five of them entered Paul Marshall’s chocolate factory, Lola was speechless, she kept looking around with such amazement. She’s never seen so huge machines before, the vast institution was filled with clicking, hissing and thudding noses of the machines. Lola felt a bit silly because she wouldn’t though this process was mechanized. 

“Your chocolate is made by only machines?”

Marshall snickered slightly and straightened his suit before he’d have answered anything.

“These machines make our work easier Miss Quincey, but of course there are several employee working here. The making of chocolate consists of various sections.”

Lola was clinging onto his words, just like a blindly believe listened to a preach.  
“This factory is amazing Mr Marshall, you’re such an intelligent man for finding it out.”

Now Leon joined to snicker with Marshall as well, Lola though she has said something wrong and decided that she’ll stay soundless for the rest of the tour. 

“I really can’t see the reason why I would act modest about it, after all I finished my Chemistry Studies at Cambridge with excellent grades, so I would…”

“Paul, do you have to boast all the time about your business or anything at all? You made poor Cee bored as well, no wonder why she ignored you after that.”

Paul was shocked again because of this impoliteness but he was more or less used to it beside Leon. 

“Your sister is charming indeed, but not the woman I’d imagine beside me at the altar. She’s too free spoken and strong minded for me. The ideal wife should be weak so I can shape her personality.”

Lola was listening to them while they were walking through the halls and she felt hurt about what Paul said, her personality wasn’t weak, and she was more than certain that he was talking about her. 

“This factory is boring. When can we eat chocolate?”

The two men stopped talking to each other, as the twins interrupted them, then Paul led them to a room which was full of already wrapped in chocolate bars. The twins excitedly ran around and picked up as many as they could hold in their hands. Lola was leaned against the wall and didn’t care at all about the stupid chocolates. Leon just stroked her shoulder gently, didn’t ask questions, he knew what she’s been gone through and despite the fact that it happened few days ago, she acted really strong. He didn’t know though the real reason why she was so upset. But Paul began to worry, he was nervous what if the next time she’ll open her mouth the following words will leave it: ‘It was Paul Marshall, he raped me.’ 

“Leon, why don’t you take the boys to that big toy shop on the corner? Meanwhile I’d take Miss Quincey to that new perfume store what opened a few corners away from here. I’m sure that’d cheer her up.”

Leon, but especially the twins found the idea marvellous and they agreed to meet at Paul’s car in one hour. Lola and Paul were soundless until they were walking on the same street as Leon and the kids, but when they turned into a lane, Paul stopped her, it was a quiet and empty part of the lane so he could talk without anyone’s interruption. 

“Lola, when I met you, I thought you were such a smart and mature lady, but now I’m starting to have doubts about that.”

Lola was angry, of course she loved him but it was time to speak out her mind.

“Shape my personality?! And why did you act so cold with me in the car or on the tennis court?”

Paul was a proud man and he could not stand if someone talked to him like that, especially such a young girl like Lola. He grabbed her upper arm and snapped at her furiously. 

“Don’t you ever talk to me on a tone like that! You are nothing but a silly child! How can’t you see that what I’m doing is for our own sake? One sentence, one touch and it’s over. That’s what you want Lola? Because if you keep acting like that, you’ll ruin my life. Do you want to see me in prison?”

Marshall’s trembled voice and his weary eyes made her to feel so guilty and ashamed. Lola snuggled to him and crossed her arms around his waist, she broke out into crying, and blamed herself for acting so selfish and felt so stupid because she didn’t understand Paul’s behaviour, but now she did, so she stepped out from the hug and wiped her tears off.

“I feel horrible…I’m so sorry. I won’t let anyone know about us.” 

Paul was about to stroke her red cheek but he stopped and continued walking to the perfume store as a couple turned into the lane. 

Jackson was cutting the air excitedly with his wooden sword, while Pierrot held a big fluffy teddy bear among his arms, which was almost as big as him. Lola looked much better and not just because she talked with Paul, but the French perfume in the purple phial cheered her up as well. Just a few minutes they stepped into Paul’s house there was a phone call for Leon, he’s been talking through at least for half hour. When he eventually hand it up, he called Lola downstairs. 

“It was your auntie…”

Lola glanced for a second at Paul and felt panicked. What if Emily found out somehow that Briony lied? But Paul was calm as always, Lola wondered whether the gin was the reason, what he drank on that night and at the moment as well, or his character was just this relaxed all the time. 

“What did she say?”

“We can tell the twins later, but I wanted you to know about it first. You’re not going back to Surrey. You’ll stay here in London, and live with your grandmother. Your father talked with her and she gladly welcomes you in her house.”

Lola remembered Agatha Quincey well, she couldn’t really stand her, because when they visited her, she kept talking till they left, and it was all about nonsense rumours. Beside the rumours, all that mattered her, was wealth, that’s why she was disappointed in her son for marrying Hermione Tallis, and she kept complaining about that every time they’ve visited her. But despite of that she was found of Lola. Leon saw that Lola was more or less okay with the announcement so he turned to Paul who was just pouring more gin into his glass. 

“She lives on Musgrave Crescent, will you drive us down tomorrow? I’m not really familiar around here.”

Before Marshall would say anything he finished with a big gulp then put down the empty glass.

“Oh of course, I’ll gladly give you a lift. It’s on Eel Brook Common, if I’m right. If we cross the Wandsworth Bridge we’ll be there in ten minutes.”

Lola wasn’t really aware of neither London’s streets nor the distances, but it made her more than happy that her grandmother’s house was that close to Paul. The twins definitely took the news well, of course they have seen their grandmother more than Emily, so the idea made them feel comfortable.   
At night as Paul walked past the twins room he had an idea when he saw the little tent made from bed sheet and a few chair.

“Well that’s a nice tent you get there boys. If I may say it’d be more fun with shadow play.”

Jackson and Pierrot clapped excitedly and scooted aside to make space for Paul. 

“Hold on boys, it wouldn’t be nice to leave your sister out if it. My sisters just love watching at the shadow play I do for them.”

Jackson wasn’t found of the idea but Pierrot didn’t mind and he looked at Marshall with curiosity.

“How old are your sisters?”

“The youngest, Carol, she is five years old. Victoria and Julia are seven and eight. And the oldest, the beautiful Maggie, she’s fourteen, she looks so much like your sister.”

“Well Lola isn’t beautiful.”

Paul frowned because of Jackson’s comment and crouched down to them. 

“Boys, I know you’re going through a hard time now, but so as your sister. She loves you and all she wants is the same. Do not be rude to her.”

He wanted to tell them that she is the most beautiful and gorgeous girl, but that would have been irresponsible to say. After a few minutes he returned back with Lola and they sat down inside the tent. He asked Jackson to hold the torch still. Pierrot snuggled to his brother and rested his head on his shoulder. Paul rose up his arms and began to form several shapes with his hands and made up short stories. He smiled as all of them were staring at the wall. As he kept doing the shadow play, he glanced down at Lola’s nighty with lots of pink ribbons on it, he found it really sweet. His hand slowly rested down on her thighs but he kept his eyes on the twins as they watched the shadow play what Paul was doing with one hand. Lola whimpered quietly but the twins were starring still at the wall. She spread her legs a little wide and she felt the warmness again as Paul covered her panties with his big palm. Lola wanted to kiss him, but even the touching didn’t last long, Paul didn’t want to risk it, because the twins could have turned to them at any minute. 

“It’s bedtime now, I’m afraid. Sleep tight boys.”

Lola was surprised as her brothers pressed pecks onto her cheek and wished sweet dreams, they never acted that nicely to her. Lola closed the door behind her and just in that moment Paul pinned her against the corridor’s door, his hands were touching her curves all over, he was getting more aroused especially when Lola ran her fingers through his curls and kissed his lips. But he stepped back and rushed to his room, he wanted her so badly but he just couldn’t do it, no matter how deeply they both craved for it.


	7. Chapter 7

“Lola! You can’t let her send us to a boarding school. We don’t want to live separated from you!”  
“Jackson, what happened? Few weeks ago you hated me. This will be good for you. You are not babies anymore and Pierrot will be there for you as well.”

On one hand, Lola felt a bit relieved that she will live now only with her grandmother and she won’t have to bare her brothers’ childish and annoying behaviour, on the other hand, she felt sorry for them that for a while they’ll be on their own. But since the scandal around their parents nothing happened like it should have. Except for one thing, Paul Marshall, if Lola’s mother wouldn’t leave, they wouldn’t be sent to the Tallis property and Lola never would have met with him. 

In a week everything has been sorted out about the twins’ schooling, Agatha enrolled them in Eton, one of the most noted boarding school for boys in England. The boys showed Lola and their grandmother, that they are big and brave boys, but as the cab left Musgrave Crescent, first Jackson then his brother broke out into tears and they snuggled up on the seat together. 

“Now that the boys are gone, it’s about time to get involve into a real girlish chatter, beside a nice cup of tea.” 

Agatha rubbed her palms together then wrapped her long arm around Lola and guided her into the salon, which was richly furnitured, Lola was amazed in the first moments, but she easily got use to the luxury. 

“I’ve been craving for such a conversation since ages, my dear.”

She clapped her hands and the maid who was standing soundless in the corner took a few steps up to them and bowed slightly, then left quickly when Agatha asked for tea. Lola smiled when she realized that her grandmother was looking at her impressed, she liked to get this attention, she didn’t consider herself selfish but beside her brothers she never got the attention she’s been longing for. Agatha cleared her throat and began to talk on her low, almost masculine voice tone. 

“Look at you darling, what a beauty you turned into from that pudgy little girl you used to be. You’ve your mother’s beautiful hair colour, you are a precious young lady. So tell me darling, I want to hear about all your suitor.”

Lola shifted uncomfortable in the armchair, and it revealed more than if she would have said a word. The explanation was simple, Lola never acted like this, and her grandmother knew it. Even if it was about an embarrassing topic or a pricky question, Lola always spoke out her mind freely without being afraid whether she’s said something silly. Agatha grinned at her, but didn’t say anything till the maid left the room and she lifted up the ceramic cup to stir the silver tea spoon in it.

“You know you can tell your grandma anything. I’m so excited already that my sweet granddaughter is in love with someone.”

But not this. Lola bit her dried out lips and downcast her eyes. She just couldn’t tell it, it was a forbidden love, and however broad-minded Agatha was, she couldn’t tell the truth, so she had to lean on one of her best skills, lying. 

“I wouldn’t call it love grandma, it was in North London, when mum was still living with us, but it ended. We met only once, I just never told it to anyone that’s why the question made me feel a bit uncomfortable. He was at my age and wasn’t serious enough, hardly more mature than my twins.”

Agatha chuckled and stroked Lola’s freckled arm, and they were laughing now together. She grinned that it was that easy to fool her, and she raised up her cup as well then started to blow it, this was the part what she hated in drinking a tea, the at least twenty minute waiting the process of cooling down. She was impatient in it, such as in many things.

“Well dear, you are almost sixteen, and when you flirt with a man, the first thing is that you have to find out how wealthy he is, but you don’t really have to worry about this, sweetheart. Because guess where we are going tonight. I’m taking you to a night ball with me, after all you’ve grown out from playing with dolls, aren’t you?”

Lola was nodding excitedly then she hugged her grandmother carefully not to spill out her tea. She was thinking about Paul of course and promised herself that she won’t flirt with anyone but it was a night ball, she’s always been dreaming about to participate on one, and now her dream came true. 

Was that indeed her reflection? Probably the dress changed that much on her appearance, after spending hours at Harrods, Lola finally found the dress, she was looking for, what she saw on her cousin, in Surrey. The smallest size fitted her perfectly, except for the length, but her grandmother calmed her, she didn't have to worry about it, as her maid used to be a tailor before she started working for Agatha. Lola turned back a bit and observed the deep and wide cleavage at the back of the dress. She knew that her parents would never let her buy such a provoking dress but Agatha didn’t mind at all. Lola was even satisfied with her freckled body and ginger hair, because it made a harmony with the colour of her dress. She pinned her hair aside on one part with a pink rose hair pin and wore the same patterned bracelet on her left hand. Before she would have joined her grandmother, she put from the French perfume on her neck and checked her make-up once more in the mirror. He grandmother was really pretty, Lola liked the light blue cocktail dress on her with the long sleeved ball gloves and especially the black hair bend on her with some blue feather on it. 

The big mansion with all the sculptures and fancy designed fountains didn’t look like the wrecked Tallis property at all, it was an antique building as well, but clearly the owner invested lot of money into the renovation of it. As later on it revealed and old lady was the owner of the house and she gave it as a present to her son and his family but she was living with them, and occasionally held balls like just on that night.  
“Your granddaughter is shining my dear Agatha, steals all the bachelors from the ladies.”   
Added Mrs Brook the owner of the house, with a smirk on her rounded wrinkly face. Agatha and her friend watched Lola chatting with some young men and they found her company mostly charming and amusing. The two old friend continued their conversation and gossiping when a low and pleasant voice could be heard behind them.   
“I’ll be damned if it’s not the charming Mrs Brook and her best friend, the gorgeous Mrs Quincey. Satisfying for a man’s eyes to see such beauties.”  
Both of the women chuckled up but covered the slight blush on their cheeks. Paul Marshall looked dashing as always, with perfectly ironed black suit and trousers, the well tied bowtie couldn’t be missed out either.   
“I think I’ve the knowledge about everything and everyone I need to know, but the world’s biggest mystery is still unsolved for me. Such as our sweet Paul’s love life…I’m serious Paul. A wonderfully handsome gentleman as yourself not to mention about your wealth….”  
“Oh, Mrs Brook, I happen to do know about my unique qualities and of course plenty single women are queuing in my line…”  
At this point of the conversation Lola noticed him, the only man who mattered to her among all the others, she didn’t care how rude it was but she left all the other men behind and strutted up without taking her eyes off of Marshall.   
“Mrs Quincey, if I may say your granddaughter is shining so brightly like a star.”  
Mrs Quincey snickered and held onto Lola’s hand when she reached up to them. Lola’s cheek was all red, she heard the compliment from Paul and the simple fact that her love, no not just love, also lover was standing there. She saw how Paul ran his eyes on her, she knew what he was thinking about, at least hoped and it made her blush again.   
“Miss Quincey, good heavens, you’re a proper lady now. You blossomed like a beautiful rose.”  
Mrs Quincey chuckled and Lola was even more blushed like she was before, but also a happy little smile appeared on her face, she had no idea that her grandmother and Marshall were in such a good relation. From that on Lola hardly had the chance to say anything if not just a short ‘yes’ occasionally. Agatha couldn’t stop eulogizing Marshall, and when she stopped her next subject in the conversation was Robbie, she started to insult him badly and that all the servants and lower class people were exactly the same. Paul didn’t take part on any side just reassured Agatha that Robbie Turner by the time was surely in a horrible prison, which seemingly calmed the old women down. When Agatha saw that it was already eleven on the antique wall clock she said Lola that they will be leaving. Paul insisted to provide his company on the way back home, to prevent anything bad happening to the ladies on such a dark night. Agatha leaned back rather tired on the backseat of the fancy Rolls Royce, after some minutes Lola glanced at her to check whether her eyes were closed or not. When she made sure she was asleep or at least her eyes were closed, she bent towards and gently placed her palm onto Paul’s shoulder. They both crave for a touch like this or even more, but it wasn’t safe and Paul knew it. He knew Lola will take it wrongly again but he had to shrug her hand off. On the rest of the road everyone was silent. Lola was close to cry, she had no idea what was wrong. Did she say something wrong through the night? No, she barely said anything. Or…oh yes! Paul probably saw and hear Lola chatting with those other men. Suddenly she felt so ashamed, she just hated herself, but then something good happened, a great opportunity was ahead so she could explain herself to Paul, because her grandmother’s snorting became louder. Lola leaned towards the driver’s seat, nearly touched her lips against Paul’s ear.

“Mr Marshal, I’m so sorry that I talked with those men at the ball. I didn’t flirt with them I swear! I would never let them to call me on a date. I only love you but I know it would have been rude to not say a word to them. I feel so horrible, please forgive me, I would never choose any other men but you. Please believe me…”

Paul quickly looked at the car’s mirror to make sure Lola’s grandmother was still asleep and he started to talk without looking at Lola, he was playing with her now, not like he wanted to cause her pain or anything like that, he just loved to have everything under his control, that he was always in a dominant position. 

“I was disappointed to be honest Lola. After all we’ve been gone through…and you with those damn bachelors…it was a pain to see you like that….”

“Oh please! They mean nothing to me! I don’t even know their names; I will never go to a ball again if you don’t want me to! I will pretend like I’m ill or something so I won’t have to go. I will do anything.” 

Good, thought Paul and parked down front of their house. Lola was nervous that she didn’t get an answer from him but soon everything changed and a completely new era started in her life. She bowed slightly when Paul walked with them to their living room and left to her room, or at least that’s what she said but she was listening crouched down at the banister. 

“Paul you are a real gentleman, you just made our night wonderful. It’s always so good to see you and talk to you. My Lola is a really talkative and smart girl, she was just probably shy a bit, it happens in such good looking man’s presence.”

Paul grinned at Mrs Quincey with a wide smile, but didn’t say anything, not yet, he had further plans but to be honest he wanted to hear it from Lola’s grandmother’s mouth and he knew she will, and he was right, assumed it well.

“It must be hard for her, away from her parent, her brothers, she doesn’t say but she’s lonely, well she has me, but what kind of a company is an old, boring lady. Paul, I would be mostly delighted if you would be our guest tomorrow night for a dinner, I would be mostly grateful if you would talk with my granddaughter about the social life here, maybe teach her how to dance. Would you do that for an old friend like me?”

Lola’s heart was bumping so fast that she barely heard the words, all she could hear was the beating of her heart bouncing in her ears, it was mostly disturbing, but she tried to calm herself down and crawl closer to the room so she would hear her grandmother’s answer. Then Paul saw her, leaning on her palms crawling on her knees closer to the room, then their eyes meet. He rubbed his moustache and licked the edge of his lips before he would have replied to Mrs Quincey. 

“It would be my pleasure Mrs Quincey, tomorrow is perfect. If I may….”

But Lola went all deaf for the rest of the words, her pulse became faster and faster, she was also panting, it wasn’t a dream, Paul was invited to talk to her and teach her how to dance. Some tears rolled down on her red cheek and she already had dozens of fantasies in her mind, but she reminded herself where was she, so quickly she crawled back to the stairs and on her tip toes left to her room.   
On the next morning she already started to look for a proper dress to wear, suddenly all of them seemed ugly and not good enough, her hair seemed horrible and she just felt so miserable about how she looked. She glanced at the clock and took a deep breath, it was only nine o'clock in the morning she had plenty of time till seven o’clock. It took her two hours when she finally found the dress, it was a present from her mother, the last gift she got from her by post, from Paris. The dress was from soft white silk, designed with a black ribbon around its waist, ending on the back with a bigger pretty black bow. Lola couldn’t eat anything only one apple the whole day. She spent hours in the bathroom, another hours spending with her make-up, the whole preparation lasted so long that when she was ready the clock just struck quarter to seven. One more check in the big mirror in her room. Her red nails looked pretty she managed to varnish them without messing her fingers all over, so she was really pleased with herself, the light red lipstick was alright as well, her eyelashes seemed longer and prettier with the help of the make-up. Because of the ribbons and bow on her dress she decided that would be too much to put anything else into her ginger hair so it was just let out dropping on her shoulders, it grew a little since she left the Tallis property, it gave her an older look. Finally she stepped into her black shoes, high heeled shoes of course, when she was just about to leave, she quickly ran back to her dressing table and poured some from the perfume she got from Paul on her neck and rushed down, as Paul could have been there in any second. Her grandmother smiled nicely at her and nodded approvingly, she never thought about Lola as a little girl, she was always ahead of her age, but as she was standing there all prettily dressed and with the make-up she seemed like a grown up lady. When the doorbell rang, Lola felt her heart’s beating getting faster again, her hands were cold and she both felt cold but warm in her chest, she really had to force herself to stay calm and don’t let Paul see how much she adored him, and what a strong effect he had on her, but Lola couldn’t hide it enough, she failed.


	8. Chapter 8

After a long, formal chattering with Agatha and Lola, Paul glanced up at the clock and straightened himself on the couch then cleared his throat. 

“My dear Mrs. Quincey, I’m afraid it’s time for me to leave now, however I enjoy the company of you and your gorgeous granddaughter, a gentleman shouldn’t stay longer.”

Paul of course didn’t want to leave but it was all part of his plan to make Agatha Quincey believe that what a well-mannered gentleman he was. 

“Oh Paul it’s only nine o’clock and you’re not a stranger, but a good friend of mine. Please stay, you haven’t even fulfilled what you promised, my dear.”

Agatha stroked Lola’s ice cold hand and smiled slightly as she leaned forward to take one biscuit from the glass bowl, she noticed Lola didn’t take any of it, she realized how nervous Lola was, and probably that was the reason why she ignored her favourite biscuit. 

“There’s an old gramophone in the attic, we used to dance for that with my husband, there are some lovely disks. I’d be grateful Paul if you’d teach my granddaughter for some basic dance steps. “

“Mrs Quincey, I’d love to but I really don’t mean to bother you till too late…”

“Paul! Enough of the manners! I do insist!”

Paul nodded with a slight grin on his face then offered his hand for Lola.

“Well in that case, if I may, Miss Quincey.”

Lola blushed deeply when she stood up and her hand was on his, she took the steps as fast as she could to the attic. Paul rested his eyes on her beautiful curves while they were walking up on the creaky wooden stair, he licked the edge of his lips and as they entered the attic he shut the door behind them immediately. The small chandelier provided a slight light in the room, it wasn’t like most of the attics, there was no sign of any spider webs nor dust or damp paper boxes. Lot of paintings were rested against the walls but the pictures on them were facing the wall so they couldn’t see them, not as if Lola or Paul would be interested in those paintings at that moment. Lola was still standing beside the door and watched as Paul easily turned on the gramophone. A grin appeared on his face as Al Bowlly’s Guilty started playing, how relevant. Paul walked up to the middle of the attic under the chandelier and held his arm out for Lola, who shyly stepped up to him. Paul slipped one of his hands onto her waist and with the other held onto her soft hand. 

“It’s a beautiful song, Mr Marshall.”

“I’m quite found of Mr Bowlly’s music, few months ago he provided a truly unforgettable night in The Savoy.”

“You were in The Savoy…and…met Al Bowlly?” Paul smirked that how easy it was to impress Lola, this gorgeous young lady. 

“I even happened to talk to him; I was one of the most important guests on that night, my dear.”

“Were you there with a lady company?” Paul couldn’t hold back the small snicker and he pulled Lola a bit tighter to himself as he was trying to slowly dance with her. Everything was so adorable and unique about Lola, there wouldn’t be any women who would have asked this, but the young girl was clearly so in love and already jealous, Paul just leaned down closer to her and pressed a gentle kiss on her forehead and stayed like that while they continued dancing.

“Maybe I’m right, maybe I’m wrong, loving you dear like I do, if it’s a crime then I’m guilty, guilty of loving you…” 

Lola’s heart beating sped up when she felt Paul so close to her, his breathe, and a wide smile appeared on her blushed cheek when Paul began to sing, she didn’t need any answer for her questions, she didn’t care anymore in whose company was Paul in The Savoy on that night, singing this sweet love song to her reassured Lola that Paul loved her, just as much as she loved him. Paul inhaled the perfume on Lola and the scent of her hair then slipped his hands around her upper arm, as he took a step towards he pinned Lola against the wall. Paul kissed her neck several times while he wrapped his arms around her and was straggling with the bottoms on her dress, he somehow didn’t care anymore about a possible interruption nor about the consequences, something changed, but he didn’t want to bother the sweet girl’s mind with problems, he wanted to see her, completely, her gorgeous body. Paul took a step back and easily got rid of his shirt and black trousers and tossed them on the floor. He stopped for a second and watched as Lola stripped down to only her panties, she looked delicious, the cute freckles all around on her pale body, the small breasts with the hard pink nipples, Paul didn't want to ruffle her hair and bruise her skin with his hard grip, he wanted to admire that perfect beauty. After a while he walked up to Lola and bent his knees, his lips were shaking as he moved closer to the tiny nipple, he pressed his lips against it and sucked slightly on it. Lola muffled a snicker as Paul’s mustache tickled her a bit but after he began to suck on her nipple more and slipped his long finger under her underwear Lola moaned in pleasure and shyly ran her fingers through Paul’s curly hair, she wanted him, she wasn't that unsure little girl like on the Tallis property, she was a grown up young lady now, and she was this man’s lover. Lola gasped when she felt the wet tip of Paul’s cock pressed against her pussy lips, when Paul thrust in Lola hissed, it was still a bit uncomfortable but rather a nice feeling than it was the first time. She wrapped her arm around his neck, and shivered as Paul was pressing kisses all over on her shoulder and neck. Lola loved the feeling of his mustache and saliva against her skin. It was different like their first time, Lola loved how Paul was so caring now, and she was looking at his face through the whole time, he seemed even more handsome right then. Paul smirked down at her and slipped his hand down, to stroke her pussy lips and rub her clit while he continued thrusting his hip hard against her lap. When Lola’s breathing sped up Paul kissed her to muffle her moans, as he felt her folds tightening around his thick cock he came in Lola. 

It seemed like time has stopped on the attic, at least that’s what Paul wished for. Lola was snuggled up in his lap, as he was sitting on the wooden floor, her breathing was so calm unlikely to Paul’s. He stroked her soft arm then the side of her round breast. He really hated himself for ruining the perfect night, he could just stay silent or lie, but Lola would know the truth anyway if not from Paul then from her grandmother, and Paul didn’t want that. He just had a feeling if Agatha would say everything to Lola, then it would make Lola act something dangerous, and he didn’t want it at all, his love for Lola was stronger than his cowardice. 

“Lola..I..would like to talk to you about some serious matters, I know that you’re a mature girl and you’re gonna understand it or at least I hope so.” 

Manipulation. Paul thought this will make it easier for him, he knew how sensitive Lola was about her age, that she craved to be an adult and be treated like one. Paul knew that she would feel guilty if she wouldn't want to accept or understand what Paul was about to say because that would be childish. 

“Of course Paul, did I do something wrong?” Paul smirked and ran his finger on her pale butt cheek. 

“The war will break out shortly…I know that everyone’s saying it won’t but just because they’re living by Ostrich policy it doesn't mean that the signs are not there and that it won’t happen just because they don’t want to. Do you understand what I’m saying, Lola? This country will be at war with Germany.”

“That’s…horrible…”

“The conscription will start soon…” 

“Please don’t leave me…please don’t go to the war…” Lola clang tightly onto Paul and pressed a kiss onto his neck. 

“Lola…I won’t be a soldier…”

“You will stay here then, my love?”

“Lola…how would it look like if I would just sit here and attend balls with you, when others are risking their lives at the battle field? Oh no, I will serve our country of course. I will go to America, there’s a big chocolate factory, they want to enter into a partnership with me, we will be able to produce even more chocolate, which will be handled out for our soldiers, the Amo bar.” 

It was all a lie, he indeed planned to send out the so called ‘Amo bars’ for soldiers but there wasn't any American chocolate factory which would have wanted to enter into a partnership with his factory. Marshall was simply a coward and felt too proud, high classed to crawl in muddy trenches. He knew that Lola had no idea about his business and that he could make her believe every single word he said. He had the money and the reputation to easily move to America, and he already had the ship ticket to New York for tomorrow morning. 

“You can’t leave me! I love you, I love you more than anything!”  
“Lola! You have to stop being so selfish and childish…I’m talking about serious matters now, if you can’t grow up to the subject then I’m sorry but we have to end this conversation…”  
“Paul, no! I’m not childish and…and, I..I understand it, you’re needed there…if you don’t do business for your factory…it…it won’t do any profit.” Lola tried to sound intelligent like an adult, she wanted to impress Paul and don’t make him regret that he started an affair with her. Paul appreciated her efforts and thought what a brave girl, his Lola was.  
“I will miss you, of course, and I will write you letters. I love you too Lola…and you have to promise me something. -Paul cupped her cheek, ran one of his hand on her thigh then squeezed it gently.- No matter what happens, what you hear about me or the war. You must stay here with your grandmother. Promise me! Promise me that under no circumstances you will leave this house.”  
“I…I promise…you frighten me…”  
“I will come back Lola…I’m not leaving forever…the war will end one day…”  
“I wish it could be that summer night again, when everything was so warm and perfect, without that stupid war…and…and this business trip of yours…I want to be there…in Surrey…in your arms…”

Paul hugged Lola tightly as she broke out into tears, he rocked her gently in his arms while she eventually fell asleep. Paul gently placed her on the floor beside him while he put his clothes back, then lifted Lola and her clothes up easily. He walked down to her room and placed her in the bed then tucked her in. Paul pressed a kiss on her sweet lips then lifted up the blanket so he could take one more look on her gorgeous body before he left her bedroom. When he entered the living room Agatha was chattering with her maid, Paul cleared his throat and waited till the maid left. 

“Mrs. Quincey, maybe it’s the last time we see each other. I have to leave to America…and the war will break out soon. Agatha…please keep your granddaughter safe. I doubt that the Germans will dare to enter our country but still…during a war, everything changes….”

Agatha placed her hands on his upper arms and nodded with a sour smile on her cheek which became wet from some tears.  
As Paul left England on the next day, a new life began both for him and Lola, none of them knowing if they will ever meet again.


	9. Chapter 9

The Plaza Hotel’s luxurious residency couldn’t even be compared with the Clapham Common house, but still, as Paul was laying in the double bed, he felt a bit homesick, then the guilt what he’s been feeling during the months spent away from England, just grew bigger. Almost four months passed since he arrived to New York and didn’t write a word to Lola. Paul glanced over at the gorgeous beauty laying beside him and those guilty thoughts faded away quickly. He pulled the silk blanket off from the sleeping beauty then stared at her slim legs, then at the perfect breasts, he couldn’t help himself not to kiss every inch of this perfect goddess. Paul played with her blond, soft curls while he pressed million kisses onto those full lips, he grinned as a slight moan left her mouth. Then as those pretty big eyes glanced at him, he felt the blood pumping through his member faster and faster. 

“Patty, you’re my queen.” Patty bit into her full lips then snickered as she felt Paul’s hardness rubbing against her entering.   
“I just woke up, please me first, Mr Marshall.” Patty giggled as Paul sighed annoyed and continued rubbing his penis against her pussy lips. “Come on Paul, I’m not some school girl, go on and please me.”

Paul looked up at her beautiful but also kind of always sad eyes, then he crawled lower and kissed her clit as he spread Patty’s pussy lips, he was licking her clit for a while, then stick his finger up into her cunt and as he felt she was all wet, in no time he thrust his cock into her, she was gorgeous and beautiful like a painting. After the wild hours of their morning sex, Paul was smoking with Patty on their bed and he thought about their first meeting. It happened on the first day he arrived to New York, and saw a poster of the Andrews Sisters in the hall of the hotel, he hasn’t heard about them but the young and pretty girls seemed sweet on the picture, so he decided to go and see them. When Patty and Paul looked at each other, that was it, and after a few brandies she ended up in Paul’s bedroom. In the beginning he planned everyday to write to Lola, but somehow during the passionate days, weeks then months with Patty Andrews, made him forget about it. 

“We’re gonna perform with the girls tonight, will you come?”  
“I’m not sure yet, I will see.”  
“Oh…but if you’d come…I was thinking that maybe we could do some naughty things in the dressing room, like last Wednesday.” Patty stroked Paul’s chest and licked his neck.  
“Fine, I will go then my queen.”  
“It’s also my eighteenth birthday today, we have to celebrate.”

Paul walked over to the window after Patty left for shopping with her sisters; he looked down at the vast park covered in snow, closed his eyes down and his body shivered as the sweet words echoed in his ears: “I don’t want to be a child anymore.” A sudden idea ran through Paul’s mind, to leave the luxurious hotel, the gorgeous Patty and the safe country behind and take the first ship to England, but he let go off the idea shortly. Probably a wealthy bachelor already engaged Lola, but when he thought about someone actually engaging Lola, his Lola, Paul rushed to the antique desk then pulled out pen and papers then began to write quickly. 

‘My dear Lola,

I didn’t get a letter from you, since four months and it’s killing me that I don’t know a thing about you. I sent you several letters, but still, no reply. I’m aware of how beautiful, intelligent and unique you are, I know or should I say I’m afraid you’re already engaged or even married, but please reply to my letters. If I could I would even leave New York to make sure about your well-being, but for now, sadly, I can’t. There’s not one day going on without me thinking about you, the first time we met, we kissed, we made love…Lola, that night out in the garden, then on the attic, can’t leave me alone, I can’t sleep. I love you Lola, more than anything on this crazy world, even if you don’t love me, just please let me know whether you’re fine. My life without you is empty and killing me. 

Your Paul,

Lola’s eyes were filled with tears when she saw the letter on the hall’s table, she quickly grabbed it up before she left to go to school, she ran till the next corner and tore up the letter before reading it she inhaled the smell of it, hoping she would feel a slight scent of Paul’s perfume, Lola’s heart was beating fast and cried while she read the letter. She felt so guilty that she didn’t write even though that the lost letters weren’t her fault and she had no idea about Paul’s address in New York. She tucked the letter into her black blazer’s jacket and ran quickly to catch the bus 11 to Westminster School. She kept reading the letter again and again on the road, she didn’t even want to go to school, she just felt too excited and jumpy about the letter. 

“So…what’s in the letter?” Lola frowned when she heard the seemingly sweet but sarcastic voice tone above her shoulder. Abigail Dowty was her one and only friend in her new school, before the secondary school, even before she met Paul, Lola felt so excited about her secondary school that she will meet older, intelligent students there, even around the age of eighteen, but all these things seemed uninteresting for Lola.   
“It’s from him, but that’s more than enough to say.” Abigail sat down beside Lola on the wooden bench and looked around on the empty corridor. Lola liked Abigail, because she was nice to her, they could talk about adult things and she trusted in her as well, however Lola didn’t know why but Abigail acted a bit mean and negative when it came to love affairs, especially when she was talking of Paul. Lola swore to herself that she will never reveal anything about her relationship with Paul but on the first day at her school Abigail read into her diary, if it wouldn’t have been such a scandal, the revolting age difference, Lola would snap at her classmate and would never speak to her again, but in order to protect Paul and their love she became Abigail’s best friend.   
“Lola…come on, finally he wrote, you’ve been so depressed through months and cried on my shoulder, it’s the least you can do to let me read it.”  
“Alright Abigail…but…please don’t…”  
“What? Eat it? Come on Lola, just let me read it.” Abigail snickered a bit then took the letter out from Lola’s palm as she handled it to her. Abigail unpinned her long blond hair and slipped the hairpin into her black bag then began to read it quickly, nothing else could be read from her face only a big smirk then as she looked at Lola some kind of pitifulness could have been realized. “I sent you several letters, but still, no reply…four months…Lola…do you really believe this? I mean one letter okay can get lost sometimes, but it’s not the Middle Ages when letters get lost like that…”  
“What do you mean by that?” Lola’s cheek turned red and roughly pulled the letter out of Abigail’s hand.   
“The letters didn’t arrive because he probably didn’t write any since now…”   
“That’s not true! How can you say something mean like that Abigail?! I’m your best friend and I trust in you and after all you hurt me this way?!” Lola tucked the letter into her bag and wiped some tears off from her freckled cheek. “He loves me! You know nothing about true love Abigail, your foolish little games with the local boys is nothing like true love, true…devoted love…maybe he didn’t have time for letters…but that’s because he must have been busy…”  
“With the chocolate factory business…Lola..what does America has to do with a simple British chocolate factory…you know what I think? That he got panicked…because it became too serious between you and him and he left…and now he’s probably having fun with some rich woman…wake up Lola you’re only a school girl!” Lola was just staring at Abigail for a while, her whole cheek was red and wet, then eventually slapped Abigail up and got up from the bench. “Lola wait! I…I just hate seeing this…why do you think that a rich thirty year old man is truly in love with you?!” Lola stopped and turned back to face Abigail.   
“Because that’s what he wrote in the letter and I believe him, and I believed him when he said the same on the attic…but why am I bothering myself to explain it to you when you simply not able to understand it!”

Lola was crying through the whole afternoon, ignoring Abigail’s comment about the letter and Paul, but however she loved Paul unconditionally, her friends’ words crept into the deepest part of her brain and she was unable to get rid of it, but she stayed calm and strong acting like nothing has happened so her grandmother nor any other people would suspect anything. Jackson and Pierrot spent the Christmas Holiday at their house, Lola always felt the age gap between herself and the twins but since she met Paul it seemed even bigger, she barely had a few words with them and she rather spent the days in her room daydreaming of Paul. She just didn’t feel the same, she always felt more mature than her actual age but it was different now, it wasn’t just drama and acting, her thoughts and problems were like Cecilia’s or at least that’s how Lola was thinking about it. 

‘My love,

I can’t write half as poetically like you do, my Paul. I’m thinking about you constantly, there’s hardly any night when I’m not dreaming about you. I was so scared that I won’t hear about you, that maybe something happened to you. I never thought that four month can be this long. I thought that school can distract my mind from thinking about you, but it was foolish of myself to think that there’s anything on this world what can make me prevent having you on my mind. I’m not engaged nor married, my dear, how could I be? My heart is already taken. I will wait months or years for you but I will never give myself to anyone but you. I do hope your business is going well. Today my grandmother took me out of school, and I am a private student now, one boy brought some German newspapers…it said terrible things…you were right my love…seems like nothing will stop Hitler from starting a war. I can’t say I’m scared because my mind is full with the memories and feelings connected to you, but grandma is most concerned after I told her about it, she said the best is to stay at home. A boy from my class, Natan Bar-Lev, left England with his family and got on a ship to America, no war has broken out yet but it’s in the air, Paul. I wish you shouldn’t stay too long in New York so that we can be together again, but I can’t be so selfish, one part of me saying it’s the best for you to stay in America, I have a feeling England won’t be a safe place in a while. I keep talking about myself and my feelings, but how are you Paul? How are your days going? Isn’t it too tiring and boring being there all on your own? I’m fine now, that I got your letter, before I didn’t have much of an appetite but now I gained quite a lot, grandma’s sweets aren’t in a safe place front of me…Since four months I haven’t smiled, but when I got your letter it changed, my good mood starts to overtake my mind again. I love you!

Yours forever, Lola

“You’re a monster…the worst of them all…” Paul cursed himself after reading the letter, Lola’s sweet words felt like honey running down on his throat and that warm breeze of Surrey fondling his skin again. Men said it’s in their nature, they can’t help it but no! Paul looked in disgust at the bed covered with the repulsive odor of cheating and sinful touches. Paul’s conscience couldn’t bear it any longer he threw the empty bottle of whiskey onto the mirror, he couldn’t bear to look at his reflection, because all he could see was cold eyes, a look of a sinner, a guilty man. Paul fell onto his knees breaking out into tears holding the letter tightly in his hand. "How could you do this to her? How could you, you monster?” He fell apart for some minutes he thought that’s it, he should write the truth down to Lola then voluntarily join the British Army and walk up to the first German troop to shoot him, because he deserves it more than anyone. The guilt stayed in him but his timorousness took over him enough not to leave America, but the hotel, immediately. He left few notes for Patty in which he apologized for not saying goodbye personally but he had to leave in a hurry. Paul wouldn’t be able to even look again at Patty after he understood how cruel and mean his betrayal was towards Lola, that sweet angel. He left New York behind, he was praying that getting rid of sins or undoing them would be that easy like leaving miles behind himself. The next letter he wrote to Lola had the Omni Parker House Hotel’s Boston address on it.

‘My sweet Lola,

As you see from the address, I left New York, I made some things there which I’m not proud of but I left it all behind now, Lola, forever. I love you my darling, you made me the happiest man that you promised yourself true to me, I will behave from now on and work on it to be good enough for you. I’m glad that your grandmother took you out of school, I’m keeping myself daily updated about the news of England, lately I see more and more British families mostly Jewish entering the country, it’s really upsetting and horrible that they leave their home because of the current circumstances. I’m worried about you Lola, stay away from any demonstrations, the best is to stay at home. I adore you my darling and I will go home as soon as I can. It’s good to hear that you feel better, I will keep writing to you a lot, so that your good mood and even appetite would stay. I heard lately a nice song in the longue of the hotel, and I bought the disk for you so you can listen to it as well. Take care my sweet.  
Your Paul, '

Lola wiped the falling tears off from her pudgy cheek then placed the letter down beside the gramophone and mumbled the title of the song. “Si tu n'étais pas là..” She closed her eyes and thought back of that night when Paul danced with her on the attic, his eyes, his lips touching hers. Lola opened her eyes then slipped her hand onto her bumped belly, fondling it gently. “Your daddy has wonderful taste in music.”

**Author's Note:**

> This fanfiction is partly based on the novel and movie.


End file.
